For more information, tips and suggestions, please search for and review the post “Things men say and do to guarantee themselves failure...” by @SomewhereSA - either here on the main discussion board or else in the Original Blogs and Posts (this is in the old format; to see these, look for the link to your lower left under the “My Groups" list).
A lot of your success on this site and in this Group will depend on your approach...if you read and follow all the recommendations in the references written by long-time members with experience and you're still unsuccessful, you probably need to be on a different site.
FOR NEWBIE MEN: Guys...not having any luck on the site, or just want to know how best to be successful? If our "Recommended Posts For Newbies" doesn't provide the information you need to be successful here, ask away, but be warned: If you obviously haven't read our hints, you may be ridiculed mercilessly as a "DFR", i.e., "D_idn't F_ucking R_ead."
Also, learn to identify the fakes and scammers...unfortunately, there are a LOT of them on the site ready to waste your time and talk you out of your money. There ARE "real" women on the site and in this Group, but you have to be realistic in your expectations...and you can trust us on this, too...you are NOT going to "get laid tonight" by a 23--year-old centerfold model from this site whose profile you just viewed.
Fake Spotting (full credit to @SomewhereSE)
Pattern recognition is key.
Pay attention to your new member page, you will see them show up to clog your list in time for the weekend and disappear before too long.
Look at mini profiles:
Suggestions:
Suggestions from @Wannacoppafeel, a long-time respected moderator in this Group: On this site, it’s very true that women get lots of pics of the male anatomy, lots of four-letter word filled come-ons, and lots of Hi! ‘s with nothing else to respond on. They’re frankly hard to get interested in answering.
Personally, I try to make it a habit to at least send a simple reply when someone takes time to contact me. The exceptions are one word emails, and the notes which are just crude invitations to review my favorite positions. They always make me wonder if the sender thinks their words are that “panty- droppingly inspiring”?
Do yourself a favor — don’t request pictures from every woman you’re hitting on, right out of the gate (particularly those who have none on their profile). Some people are private, shy human beings or are cautious. Courtesy also extends to other things you might think seem harmless — like tracking someone’s whereabouts or playing detective on their personal lives. If you’re going to be “friends” and are among the fortunate to get real contact information, be respectful of it. Eventually, you’ll get all the details. Don’t push. Don’t show up. Don’t make a lot of demands. Doing so feels VERY stalker like.
A polite “No, but thank you” , should not be seen as a personal affront. Becoming abusive or threatening on email because you weren’t the perfect guy for someone, is just dumb. That’s why there’s a blocking feature. There are lots of other women on the planet. Move on courteously and stay positive.
And for the record, a well composed email with complete thoughts (and the use of spellcheck) makes for a good beginning, too!
A good suggestion from an anonymous member: There is always one simple rule that hasn't failed me yet when making initial contact: Golden Rule - "Don't be a dick".
This includes:
Helpful hints for participation in this Group from our Originator @NeedLuv694me:
92 comments
Those giving up their precious time to educate Newbies on the Do's and Don'ts of the Community and Members pages ought to be......well.....thanked!! Thank you for your efforts.
Might I add one bit of advice someone told me. Consider only looking at profiles with gold memberships. Here me out. If someone went out of their way to invest into this site, that means they are serious about interacting with others and therefore the profile is much more likely to be real and by extension trustworthy.
This is just a pattern to note in every day life, anyone who invests money in anything is more likely to be legit.
fair point, however there have been scammers identified who have Gold - also, female scammers often scam a guy into paying for her to go Gold, so while it may be one measure to consider, don't forget all the others.
Good, sensible advice -thank you!
Thank you. I see and read that you're suggestions are logical, thoughtful, and express experience. I might say, maybe it's my age, that it all seems very well. Common sense? Did treat a person like a person that rule of treat another as you would be treated. Again. Thank you
Excellent advice. Thank you very much.
Thank you for the tips, they are all fairly obvious when you thinking with "the right head" LOL. Anyway, in all endeavors, not being a dick is about as sound advice as you'll ever get
Would be nice to get a "No, but thank you"....Never took it as an affront, but just common courtesy and decent manners.
It is unfortunate that so many seem to think that good manners and common decency do not apply online. "Hello", "please", "thanks", "no thanks" seem to have disappeared from people's lexicon the moment they go online.
This is worth reading over and over.
glad you find it useful
I totally agree!!!
Yes thank you so much for the helpful advice. Much appreciated!
I thank you for the review of "don'ts" Seem like common sense and respect for ones fellow human being. But good to read. Wonder if to those it is intended will read the notice or care about its content.
we can only hope they do, Andy
All good, valuable advice. I might add that there are other patterns I have noticed in my very limited time here (AFF). Without fail, every one of the women who contacted me showed that they had never read my profile and would rarely, if ever, answer my direct questions. These two things turned out to be consistent and became 'red flags' for me.
They will never answer a question. Sometimes they will post a "canned" response that is written by a college professor. They will never call or video call and never meet in person for lunch. Ever. Poor English too.
Thank you for the information, some of it is common sense and the majority is very useful and specific enough to be easily understood. I appreciate the PSA and hope it will help many to avoid the bad element on this site as well as other sites in general. Life is not easy, but it is just not that hard either.
Good advice here. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you for the good pointers. I want to come across as a gentleman and hopefully connect with a kind lady.
Cool; thanks for the advice from all the contributors.. I will do my best to abide by the rules and have a great time while doing so..
enjoy the group
Thank you for this! I just posted a similar inquiry on my own blog
great minds and all that!
Thank you for these tips to start . Appreciate it.
Just thought of another thing the scammers want to do. Not sure if it is a good thing or bad. They instantly want to go to Google Chat. First step is to get your Gmail address. Besides money they want information, your information.
Holaaa
Thank you for the tips.
Very well explained. A little addition for everyone:
"Just use your common sense"
Very good advice ..I'm new here ..not sure if is worth it to become a gold member ?
The debate on the value of Gold membership will rage long. If you are into the Community side, blogs and chatrooms, Gold membership is unnecessary, there is nothing you need it for. If you are into the Dating side and want to message members, flirt, view profiles, then you probably need Gold.
Thank you
Where do you find the Classafied adds
It's on the group home page, pinned at about the 5th or 6th post down.
Thank you all for your advice and direction
Lot's of good advice. Thanks.